Since Halloween several people have sent us wishes saying that they are thinking of us, especially as the run up to Christmas begins. It is always nice to receive messages like this, and to know that people are thinking of us all but it prompted David and I to discuss how we felt. It is true that not sharing Christmas this year with Oscar will be very difficult. It is another significant event which will be incomplete but actually for us there will be lots of distractions. Clearly we can’t cancel Christmas, Holly will be really excited and she will be having fun with her cousin, uncles, aunts and grandparents. We will get a lot of ‘happiness’ from watching her experiencing it all.
We miss Oscar on other family occasions… at the breakfast table, when we have lunch or dinner, when we get into the car and he isn’t behind us…. Christmas may be more poignant but no more painful than any of these moments which occur every day of our lives. The date we are more aware of is New Year’s Eve. This will definitely be an early night for us. Welcoming in the New Year with a glass of bubbles just doesn’t fit but the main issue is that the tide of time is pushing us forward and we will get nudged into a new year that we will never share with Oscar, forced to leave him behind in 2014. And no matter how many times I have thought that, it still hurts to write it.